It’s been quite a few months since I last posted anything here. I have pondered what I would have for my first post of 2015. (Other than for my ETSY store of course!).
Last November I went to New Zealand to find that my Mother had passed away while I was on my way there and then getting off my plane and going to her funeral within a couple of hours. While it was definitely a shock, I had actually felt it would not be the homecoming I had envisioned. My Dad’s first words were ‘who told you?’ – well, nobody had. Call it intuition. For the next three months I was there to help and support my Dad to go through all the things he needed to do, so there was little time to sit back and think, other than when I tried to sleep at night.
The whole experience changed me in subtle ways, but change it did. You always read about how some experiences can change you, well it’s not just a cliche.
This quote by Paulo Coelho sums it up rather well:
“That is why it is so important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don’t expect to get anything back, don’t expect recognition for your efforts, don’t expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability or ignorance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are”.
~ Paulo Coelho, The Zahir.
Slowly and in my own way I have, and will continue to close doors, change records, clean the house and get rid of the dust. The most important one of course is to become who I am and not what I was.
It might take a while – old habits can be hard to break and one has to learn to wear the new suit and feel comfortable in it.
I can honestly say I learned more about myself in the last three months or so than I have in many years and to borrow that saying “I have to be me, everyone else is taken” rings true.
So here is to a year of letting things go, cutting loose and just being who I really am with no expectations from others. I am sure it will be an ongoing journey, and I may wander off the path a few times, but it does feel good to have already started.
Where then does that leave my art? To be honest, I really don’t know. It may well take quite a back seat for a while, or it might just suddenly smack me on the head – who knows? It might even take a total change in direction – it’s just nice to know it’s still there lurking in my mind for now.
Time will tell, and I will share any new creative work here on this blog – and it might not always be painting! I’ll also be pondering a new title for my blog in the next little while as well.
My life is definitely a work in progress and I am looking forward to enjoying this next phase.